Pranks, Tricks, and Other Ways to Annoy My Crush
by Padfoot-rulz011
Summary: So anyways, after I had banged into a few walls and fell down the stairs, the blindfold finally came off. I have to think of a way to get back at Sirius for that. And the lake thing. And the ink thing. I know just how to do it too. MWPP minus W, SBOC!
1. Trashcans, Disorders, and Marauders

Hi people! This is my first story, I'd like to thank Happynutcase for helping me get it up, and get my account running! Thanks! I know Peter is one of the Marauders, but I hate him, so…HE'S NOT IN THIS! Mwuahaha! Lol. I know that's immature but…ugh, if I wrote him I would get all bitter and you don't want a bitter author eh? Lol. And the sign means a new entry, for all you slow people out there. Lol, JJ.

_July 18, 1974__2:00 PM___

_In the car on the way to Diagon Alley_

Well, I must be REALLY bored. After all, I actually pulled out this diary Mum gave me. She says that I'm under to much stress, so I should write in this. Having a mom who's a psychologist totally suck sometimes. Okay, mom, here is my first entry:

I. HATE. MY. LIFE.

Yes, I know, very cliché and all that crap, but still so true. I mean, what was wrong with your old job in New York Dad? Why did you have to get another one in _London__?_ London is far away. They're all "It's not _that_ far away Michelle". Yeah, well it's far enough to the point where any chance of seeing my friends is like, nil.

I was happy at Willowwood too; it was a small school with a nice name. Now I'm going to some big school called Hogwarts. Hogwarts? Geez…and they have a _DRESS CODE! _Plain black robes, plain black hat, black cloak…black black black, plain plain plain…Ach! I swear, I shrieked so loud when I read that my parents came running into my room thinking I was dying or something, and Skitters, my cat almost jumped out the window.

Yeah, so now we're on our way to some place called Diagon Alley to pick up all the supplies we need. At Willowwood, they provided the materials for us, and I have to get a new wardrobe of course. I swear I will never forgive them for this. Almost nothing is worse that being on a car trip to a different country—not to mention a different CONTINENT—with only my twin sister Melissa, my paranoid cat Skitters, and my parents, who insist on doing everything the muggle way.  Except being on a car trip to a different country with only my twin sister Melissa, my paranoid cat Skitters, and my parents, who insist on doing everything the muggle way because we are MOVING THERE!

What a great life…

_Later the same day, _

_On a trashcan in an alley_

Well. This is juuuust great. We can't get to Diagon Alley. I'm sitting on a trashcan writing this, and toe is throbbing. There are probably dead people in this trashcan—it smells bad enough—so I'm not lifting the top. Melissa says I'm a necromaniac. I'm not; I'm just a little bit paranoid after watching almost every horror movie ever made in the entire history of horror movies.

Mom and Dad were all, "Do you need help getting through girls?" But noooo, I had to insist we go on our own, saying I'm sure it's in the letter how to get through. Yeah, sure, in the letter. I would be goin all South Park right now, but I don't want to swear in this, incase Melissa finds it, because she hates swearing, and she'll probably hex me with some weird spell so I can't swear ever again.

We came into this little pub in London, and the bartender directed us out back into the alley. When we saw there was just a brick wall, we turned around to go back inside, but apparently, the door doesn't open from the outside! We've been out here for like, fifteen minutes, and I got so frustrated I kicked the wall, which did nothing but practically break my big toe.

Melissa is getting aggravated too, but she was smart enough not to kick the wall. She usually is smarter than me; maybe it has to do with the fact that she's three minutes older than me, something she just _loves_ to point out all the time.

Oh, the doors opening, maybe someone can help us out of this friggin alley!

_Still later that day,_

_On the train to Hogwarts_

Well. She helped us. It was really weird too, she tapped the bricks with her wand and this huge hole appeared in the middle! I mean, _hello_ people, ever heard of a friggin door? So anyways, we walked through the hole, and we were in this huge market place thing, with all these people milling about, which _really_ freaked out Skitters. Skitters is really jumpy all the time, and doesn't let anybody but pet him but me. At all. Ever. It's actually really funny to see him skid around on the kitchen floor when ever the doorbell rings.

Anyways, the girl apparently didn't realize we had followed her, as she didn't say anything. I dunno how she missed us; two identical grumpy Asian girls sitting on smelly trashcans, one scribbling in a book and the other one talking to a wall. Unless that's the normal way of hanging out in London. God, I hope not.

Anyways, shopping for school supplies was, um, _interesting_. The first few shops went okay, we got our cauldrons at one shop, and our books at another, called Flourish and Blotts. Then we to the Apothecary, where we all our slimy, powdered, and over all dead creepy items. I was so freaked out at seeing all those body parts of dead animals, I ran out of the shop as fast as I could when I was done.

Unfortunately, someone had been running _into_ the Apothecary, and we slammed right into each other. All of the stuff I had been carrying flew everywhere, and the person I had collided with's stuff did the same. I landed on my butt, and after sitting there blinking for a few moments, I came to my senses and started picking up the stuff, as did the boy I had slammed into. He was sorta cute, he had long black hair and hazel eyes. Thankfully, he didn't notice this scope-fest.

Anyways, I was really embarrassed, and apologizing like crazy, but he was all, "I'm fine, don't worry about it" and stuff. All calm and stuff, that is so cool. I haven't met many people like that.

Anyways, then I here this snickering, and I look up to see two _more_ guys standing over us, laughing their heads off. One of them had messy black hair and glasses, and the other one had sandy colored hair and brown eyes. They were cute too. Melissa—who by the way, didn't get knocked down or humiliated, as she was still inside, paying for her dead animal parts—says I'm too much of a flirt. I'm not! Am I?

Whatever, so that was the highlight of my day. Well, no, since a highlight is usually a _good_ event, and this…um, wasn't. I didn't even get his name! Ugh! And he was cute too!

So yeah, now I on the train, which we had a really hard time finding! You had to walk through a wall. Usually, I'm walking _into_ walls—or kicking them—not _through_ them! What is with these people and doors? Are they like, doorphobic or something? Hmmm…I'm gonna have to find out if there really is a fear of doors…

The train hasn't pulled out of the station yet, and there are all these people outside telling their parents goodbye. Our parent's just _had_ to get to the house by tomorrow, so they could unpack. Riiight…I wonder if they apparate once we leave…

I'm gonna put this away now, Melissa is looking sort of annoyed that I'm not listening to what she's saying. I am! I just, don't know what she's saying…

_STILL later that day, _

_STILL on the train to Hogwarts_

I found out his name. The guy I ran into outside the Apothecary that is. It's Sirius Black. Nice name, not boring, like mine, Michelle Ling. I think my parents were on crack or something when they named me. But they gave Melissa a nice name, a pretty name. I get Michelle, like the girl off of Full House. Life is soooo unfair.

Anyways, back to how I found out this guy's name. See, Mel and I were just sitting there, minding our own business, me on the floor a few seats back, looking for my Rememberall, which had rolled out of my hands, and Mel…well I dunno what Mel was doing since I was on the floor, duh. Anyways, the door opened, and in came in the three guys from the Apothecary.

The guy in front—the one I had crashed into—spotted Mel and walked over to her. I heard him say, "Hey, I recognize you. You're that girl from the Apothecary!" Mel of course, had no idea what they were talking about, and shook her head. He insisted it was her again, and when she denied it, they looked a bit confused, so I stood up and said, "Um, no, that was me, I'm the uh, clumsy one."

He turned to me, then back at Melissa, and back at me, and blinked. "Hey! Twins! Awesome!" he said, laughing. I laughed too, I'm not really sure why. Maybe I was just happy he was talking to me! Maybe Mel's right, I am a flirt. I have a different crush almost every week! I have never liked someone long enough to ask him out. No, actually, once I liked a guy when a dance was going on and asked him. I am a very strong believer in feminism, and I don't think that there is anything wrong with asking out a guy.

So, anyways, I came out from behind my little hiding place and introduced myself. I guess the guys had come into our compartment to find a seat, as they all sat down in the seats around Melissa's and mine. They introduced themselves, which was how I found out his name—duh—and the names of the other two, the black haired one was James Potter, and the sandy haired one was Remus Lupin. Remus didn't talk as much as the other two. I don't know how it's possible to not talk all the time.

Anyways, we talked for a while, until the food cart came. Me, being the sweet addict that I am, bought…um a lot. Okay, the whole thing, but I had four other people to share it with, and I was loaded! I noticed the others didn't get anything, but decided to steal my stuff instead. One of them tried to take one of my Licorice Wands, which I LOVE, and I slapped their hand away.

Sirius pulled his hand away, mock-hurt, and raised an eyebrow, "Protective aren't you?"

I just looked at him and said, "Don't mess with my licorice." And laughed. The boys did too. They're very outgoing and friendly, I like that. Shy people scare me. I know that's sorta weird, but true. When someone is endlessly withdrawn and quiet I think their plotting against me. Maybe I'm paranoid. I have so many disorders it's hard to count them all.

Then Mel got the just GREAT idea to play dare with the Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, where one person picked a bean at random and had to eat it. James decided to spice it up a bit by putting an empty Butterbeer bottle in the middle, so when you picked the bean, you spun the bottle, and whoever it landed on had to eat the bean you picked.

Melissa went first, and pulled out a grass one and spun the bottle. It landed on Remus. Reluctantly, he took the bean and popped it in his mouth, grimacing. When we were all done Ewwing (and Remus was all done gagging), it was Sirius's turn. He pulled out a sardine one. He spun the bottle, and it landed on…me. Now I hate fish, I hate poultry, and I hate meat. I'm a vegetarian, for both animal rights and the revolting taste. I tried to tell them this, saying it was a violation of my vegetarianism, but they were sooo not buying it. Sirius passed me the bean, and I grudgingly popped it into my mouth.

IT WAS DISGUSTING! I almost choked on it, the taste was so bad.

"Heak, cack, chuak!" Was a bit like how I was sounding. It must have scared the living daylights out of Skitters; his tail got all big and he hissed. Finally, I swallowed it. Looking around I said, "Sorry, just…ya know, coughin up a hairball."

Mel reached over then and smacked me—hard—on the back.

"Owww, god Mel ya moron!" I complained glaring at her. It wasn't one of my death stares though, like the one I used on this guy who pinched my butt on the subway, and then called me a lesbo when I kicked him in the nuts. I don't get mad a lot, but when I do, someone is going DOWN. Plus, he was sexually harassing me, AND insulting gay people. I happen to know a few gay/lesbian people, and they are no different from the rest of us!

Anyways, after I was finished coughing up a lung, I glowered at Sirius. "You're gonna pay for that. You're gonna be doomed forever. Doom to you!" He looked at me really weird, so I started going "Doomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoom!" to him, and they all inched away slowly. I finally ran out breath, and paused for a minute then, "DOOM TO YOU!" They all stared at me, then busted out laughing. I was satisfied with being the clown for the moment, and we returned to the game. Every once in a while I would mutter 'doom' under my breath, just to freak them out. I've got to think of a way to get back at him for that…

Thanks for reading that! Please R&R!


	2. Chocolate

_STILL later,_

_In the girls dorm_

That was so cool! The sorting that is. Cause guess who (or, um, what) did the sorting? A hat! No one else seemed to think this was cool, but I did.  Mel didn't like all those people staring at her, I could tell, but I loved it, the center of attention is just where I belong! Anyways, Melissa went first. On the train before, before the Marauders came onto the scene, we went through this little mini battle, pushing and flicking each other to see who would get to be sorted first. I won, but Mel blackmailed me with pictures of my favorite stuffed bear. _That's_ mature.

Mel was sorted into Gryffindor, so I was hoping to get in that too, to, uh, be with my sister. Yeah. And you know maybe there's the small fact that the Marauders are in that house…but that's just a _small_ reason. So anyways, I went up to the hat when she was done and sat on the stool, pulling the hat down on my head. It covered my eyes.

The hat seemed rather annoyed by me and for some reason thought _I_ would be a trouble maker! Me? Noooo….and guess what I heard it (her, him, that?) mutter? "Oh great, another mischief maker, if there is one more Marauder around, I will quit…become a nice magician's hat…" It thinks I'm Marauder material! So anyway, it said I was, and I quote, "Daring, rather brave, but a tendency to violence…not much regard for rules either…" So true. I don't mean to sound conceited, but it's true. I love dares! Brave…I dunno…but hey, I'll go with that! And the last two…maybe that's why I got suspended from Willowwood so many times. I got kicked out of the local Wal-Mart soooo many times…anyways, it put me in…you guessed it, Gryffindor! I'm so happy.

Right, so I went and sat down at the table next to Mel, and across the table from Sirius and the rest of the Marauders. I was trying to think of a way to get back at them for the bean incident…

Anyways, I sat down near Sirius and went, all cheery, "Hey Doom Dude!" with the capitalization apparent. He looked up and grinned, "Hey Michelle! Congratulations on getting into the _best_ house here. I was scared for a minute that the school would be getting two new additions to Slytherin."

I had heard Slytherin was a sucky house. Glad I'm not in it.

_FINALLY July 19,_

_History of Magic_

Wow, it's only the first day and I'm already not paying attention in class…great. I'm soooo not used to _living_ in a school! At Willowwood we went to school from seven thirty in the morning to three forty-five in the afternoon, and then we went _home_.

And I wore my first…_school uniform_…ugh…it's a plain black robe with a plain black hat, and oh, sometimes if we're _really_ lucky, we get to wear a nice pair of plain black gloves! Geez! I talked to Remus, and he said we only have to wear our uniforms till the end of the school day, and then we can wear whatever we want. Thank goodness!

So anyways, not much to say about the classes here, they're pretty much the same as Willowwood's, except HoM is taught by a ghost here. When I walked in, I saw him and went "Hey! You're a ghost!" and he looked at me all sarcastically and said, "Really, I had never noticed." That was rude. And I know he wasn't being serious…I hope…I'm pretty sure he (or at least someone else) would notice if he died wouldn't right? I hope so…what if I die and no one notices, even me? That would be sad…not that I would know, since I'd be, you know, _dead_, but still…it's the principal of the thing…

Right, well we only have two more classes to go, and then we are free!

_Later that day,_

_In the common room_

Yay! No more uniforms! As soon as class was over, I rushed up to my room and changed into some jeans and my favorite red tank top. Ah, that's sooo much better…

_Still Later,_

_Still in the common room_

Yum chocolate! I don't know how the Marauders got chocolate, but hey, as long as they didn't poison it, I'm happy! I _hope_ they didn't poison it at least. I asked Sirius if they poisoned the chocolate, but he just shook his head all innocently. Sure…I'm probably gonna turn into a peacock or something in a few seconds. And so will all the other people who came down to get some sweets. Thankfully, none of the prefects but some kid named Randy came down, and he didn't seem to care that half of the Gryffindor house was having a little party at eleven o'clock at night. I really want to know where they could possibly get un-poisoned chocolate at eleven o'clock at night…then again, back home, you could get a pizza at three in the morning, so I should be used to it…

_About half an hour later,_

_In bed_

Ha! It was poisoned! Well, maybe the chocolate wasn't, but the Pumpkin Pasties were! I wasn't really craving those, so I gave them to some first year, and his hair turned blue! Then his face turned yellow, his eyes turned purple, and he started to grow…well, feathers. Finally, his head turned into a huge parrot head! That was supposed to have happened to me! I forgot which one of the Marauders gave that to me; I think it was James…grrr...

_Later that day, around __Midnight___

_In bed_

You know, I should really stop writing in the stupid journal so much. People might think I actually _like_ writing in it. I don't. Really. It's more like a torture device…I just write in it to tell someone, or at least _something_--whatever will listen to my pathetic whining--what's going on it my pathetic life…not that even _you _care…but really, I don't like to write in this…I mean it…really...

Yes, I know, that was SHORT, but I had exams! Sorry, I'll be updating a lot quicker and more often, with longer chapters, as soon as we're on summer break! And that's in…4 ½ days! If I choose to go to the half day on Saturday…yeah, sure. Lol.

I HAVE TWO REVIEWS! Yay! Actually, I was on another FF site, and I got like, 13 reviews in 2 days, but I was better known there…anyways, here is my (short) review thanx!

**Herculeha**- Thank you for being my first reviewer! I feel so special! Yeah, PD is where I get some of my ideas, but I'm trying to add some of my own flair to it, I was hoping the PD touches wouldn't show through to much…I'm so glad you updated your stories, and you even advertised my story! So special, so special…

**Drop Depp Gorgeous**: Yes! A second reviewer! YAY! I'm so glad you liked it, my self-confidence has sorta taken a pretty steep blow from lack of reviews…anyways, thanks for reviewing!

**Please review!**


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